WEYELP so about less than a week after one of our teachers gets stabbed to death by a graduate student, one of my friend's suitemates decides to stop taking medication, and starts acting incredibly suicidal. After someone turned him in, they confiscate all of his kendo swords and then just start threatening his other suitemates and a friend who had absolutely nothing to do with anything.

And you know, insted of taking him into custody or anything, they just let him romp around campus on his merry way knowing full-well who did what and what happened. Because counseling wasn't available to give him a proper evaluation and take him to a psychiatric ward.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUR no.

Things like this always wierded me out, because I know that there's red tape and rules you have to follow or else you'll get arrested and the world will collapse into anarchy and such tomfoolery. And the suitemates were temporarily offered another place to live for safety's sake. But at the same time, you can't help asking yourself HEEEEEEEY WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COMMON SENSE WITH THOSE FRIES?

But when things like this get me down, I think of happier things. Like whatever this is.

In other news, I'm debating whether or not I should let my hair grow out. Man, it's kind of awesome that I can actually track down that one journal where I got my hair cut from wicked long to wicked short for the first time. Oh man, good times. Sadly you can't just push a button and go INSTANT LONG HAIR just to see how it would work. A lot of people tell me I could look good in long hair, though 100% of those people never saw any photos of me in High School. Though admitedly I didn't have bangs and looked like your Morman Mom. HURGH won't make that mistake again.

Though it's wierd, because I've gotten a sentimental attatchment to short hair. When I cut it what's pushing three years ago, it was almost a vow to myself to be a stronger person. BECAUSE AS YOU ALL KNOW HAVING LESS HAIR GRANTS INSTANT EMOTIONAL STRENGTH but really. I guess it's all this time, everyone was wearing long hair in school, so I thought I should too, even though the style I struggled for really didn't suit me. But after lots of introspection and what not, I finally gave it a try, just in an attempt to be a little braver and more free from things like that. So it seems like growing it out again would almost be like saying you don't need it any more? Which I don't think is true.

ENGLISH MAJORS SEE SYMBOLISM IN EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING

But I at least need to get these bangs trimmed. I'm starting to get an Emo-flip. That's no good. And another thing I'm worried about is that wierd thing in the back that happens to short hair when you try to grow it out. Like a mullet. You short-hair-ers know what I'm talking about, right? I hate that thing. Seriously.

</mailbox spam spam spam>
PL

DAMN IS THERE A CRAPTON OF DUST ON THIS DA PAGE OR WHAT. I have a perfectly good reason why I haven't written a journal in like two months. And it is not because I have been a lazy bastard. At all. And not because my head has been in the clouds for about two months. At all. Really though, I'm sorry for the inactivity everyone! Hopefully you'll be seeing a little more of me what with break coming up (CHRIST FINALLY). Honestly, these last two months have been all over the board. I don't even know how to describe it, since it lacks last year's only-slightly insane roommate, molestation, and abandonment issues. It's more of a subtle thing, I guess? I dunno, have you ever just had a couple months where your brain takes a sabbatical whether you like it or not? Well, whatever it is, it's very, VERY helpful (and always welcome for, again, lazy bastardry's sake). But it's also kind of hard to re-adjust yourself to a normal schedule. Especially in art! Since my next project is to do more colored pieces, which is going to be an epic endeavor within itself for Miss Monochrome.

BUT YOU KNOW ENOUGH OF MY INTROSPECTIVE MUMBO-JUMBO. I know all of you are PAINED to not have an installment about me gargling on about something for months on end, so to celebrate the joy of finals week, here is a delicious cornucopia of all sorts of random shtuff.

-Work on the book that I've been writing for…a year has been kicking into high gear. My cowriter and I are at the point where we can start making inquiries at publishers (because I've recently discovered that actually working a book through the publishing process can take YEARS, especially for first time writers. Alas, my grandiose dreams of instant fame and fortune have been stunted). Which means a lot of revising of first chapters. It's actually oddly fun! In a very smug, self-satisfying sort of way. Really it's just amazing to see how much I've improved of the course of the year. The absolute best is when you think of a really awesome joke for the situation, and then re-read to find you actually were smart enough to make the joke in the first place. Oh yes, writing is fun.

-CLASS REGISTRATION IS 3 FOR 3 IN R BEING FUN. Next year I'm lined up for Shakespere (does that mean that they'll be a bunch of old-English gay jokes and general pretention? Noooo perish the thought), Intro to Criticism (despite taking a 400 level Criticism class but DURP DURP REQUIRED), Asian Literature, and Downhill skiing. Not nearly as badly schedule screwed as I was last year but…not the most fun thing in the world! I was hoping for something ridiculous, like Children's Lit. Of fly fishing. AW WELL. My parents are already placing bets on how badly mutilated I'm going to be downhill skiing. On the bunny course.

-ART STATUS. UM. STILL TRYING TO IMPROVE. I'm sorry, I haven't had much time to sit down and draw lately! I have a couple sketches that are sitting around in a long waiting line to get finished, but the thought of INKING or ACTUALLY COLORING any of them sets in an odd apprehension. SOMEONE GET ME SOME FIGHTING SPIRIT. DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, INVISIBLE, ROW MAN.

-BURGAH BURGH FINALS. Hate finals week HATE. Especially since a brand new element got thrown into the mix-group projects. I'm totally okay with doing group projects to people I know and love, but something about handing your GPA in the hands of people you don't know and will never see again is something a paranoid stickler like me gets all anal about. OTHER THAN THAT I also have a clearance exam for my radio station I need to complete. Which I just realized is Saturday. WISH ME LUUUUUUCK. God will I need it. I can barely handle a computer-it's going to be a miracle for me to understand a sound board.

AND NOW FOR THE PART YOU'RE ALL WAITING TO GROAN ABOUT...

-FINAL FANTASY XIII IS COMING OUT BEFORE I TURN TWENTY. MARCH NINTH. YEEEEEEES. Oh, so much nerdy joy to be had. Even though I know full well it's probably not going to be the ungodly paragon of a game I've been hyping it up to be I DON'T CARE because I'll have it in my slimy hands and I'll be happy. Yes. Yeeeeeees. Man, good thing I wasn't putting money on that poll, or I would be milking you cynics like COWS.

SO WHAT HAVE YOU PUNKS BEEN DOING SINCE I WAS OUT


PL

Man, how symbolic that the instant leaves to go back to Cali, the temperature plunges about fourteen degrees. Even in my abnormally warm dorm, I needed flannel pajamas and an extra blanket just to get through the night. On the one hand, it's kind of nice to know I won't be stinking hot all through winter, even in my super-warm dorm. On the other hand FINGERS SO COLD OH GOD I CAN BARELY TYPE.

The mouse pad on my computer has been acting up a lot recently-sometimes it'll work perfectly, other times...it won't. I could call and get it fixed and generally make sure everything on my laptop is okay...oooooooor I could buy this COOL NEW WIRELESS MOUSE that is so awesome and it just makes the pointer whoosh across the screen and go wheeeeee. Oh man. This is almost making me giddy. Why did I not think of this before? But for some reason, my tablet is whacking out a little, and I have no idea why! Maybe I need to reinstall the drive. You should all be grateful for that by the way. It was the only thing stopping me from drawing something mind-scarring as payback for all those vile accusations on my character with all this "YOU LIEK TWILIGHT" and what have you. I'm not sure what such payback would entail, but think of that one "shark" panel in my character creation meme, and you'll probably get the idea.

My LOLWUT class schedule this year is only matched by my LOLWUT uncertainty of what my grade is going to be this year. Actually just my one rhetoric OPINION PAPER class is the one that hangs in the balance. You'd think I'd be all good at sitting down and writing "HEY YOU KNOW WHAT IS AWESOME" and "HEY YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS", but I got a B- on my first paper. It stung my pride. Has that ever happened to any of you when you, when you're in a subject you like and you just suddenly get a grade like that, and it just sort of hurts for some reason?

OKAY so FFXIII is going to be released December 17th in Japan and vague March date in the states. Last chance to place bets! Which will happen first-thirteen in the states or my 20th birthday (April 19th)? I kind of am hoping for the previous, just so it'll cushion the blow of finally getting to play the game I heard about when I was...sixteen.

When did my deviantart savvy suddenly vanish? I can't find the thing that lets you fix those footer things on your comments anymore. Why am I still getting used to the new system NOW? Any of you guys know what it is? I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER IF YOU TELL ME.

Be strong,
PL

Okay okay okay okay OKAY. Despite getting hammered by an annoying cold pretty much this entire week (I REALLY DON'T DO THIS ON PURPOSE GUYS), I somehow managed to finish off Twilight. To an extent, it was exactly what I was expecting it to be-something not to be taken too seriously which makes the alarming number of people who do so even more mortifying. However, there are a LOT of things that I didn't see coming, despite the irresistable siren call of internet snark. For instance...

* I actually caught myself enjoying it for a little bit. And not like that smug enjoyment you get from watching Jerry Springer and stroking your ego at how much better than these people you are. I mean real, genuine, willing to turn over to the next page enjoyment. WAIT before you kill me YET AGAIN, this enjoyment lasted for fifty pages. The rumors are true-for about 73% percent of the book, you sit around as Bella provides you with adjective-laden accounts of Edward's sweet ass, a doctor's apointment reveals a late-term plot somewhere around page 375, but it was successfully removed with no long-term effects on a prom date at the end. But while the plot would barely stand on its own in a good piece of literature, let alone redeam the rest of the book, it really did have fair pace, presented at least some degree of suspense and a tense atmosphere, and was actually sort of fun to read. This does not ease the mark left by the back of Meyer's hand when the badass vampire fight that's been set up for about eight pages is resolved OFF SCREEN and replaced with more of the beloved main couple. It's not worth the offensive metaphor I had planed for it.

*Edward's entire family is cooler than he is. His dad, lame hot doctorness asside, was a FARKING BADASS PREACHER AND VAMPIRE HUNTER before he actually got caught by the creatures that he was hunting, became one, and after suffering starvation and a breakdown, faced his demons and won, and started his own badass family. Alice was wrongfully put in an insane asylum and was so badly traumatized that she doesn't remember anything before her 'death', but insted of going emo she's insted supportive, cheerful, and about fifteen times more likeable than Edward and Bella combined. With heavy implication of having a girl crush on Bella, and being much, much, MUCH more badass than she lets on (apparantly in the movie she TORE OFF THE BAD GUYS HEAD, which is so awesome I'd almost pay to see it). Emmet is innitially portrayed as a bunch of dumb muscle, but through the course of the book seems to redeam himself as more of a somewhat of a missunderstood gentle giant. Upon further research, Jasper turns out to be an ex-member of a VAMPIRE STREET GANG who grew a conscience and is trying to fight his own lingering demons, and what I thought was GENERIC GORGEOUS DECORATION Rosaline turns out to be a sympathetic defrosting ice queen whose backstory has basically been described as "Kill Bill with vampires". Hell even Edward's mom is awesome in just having a suprising air of compassion and sanity while still being able to lift up Bella with one hand and run her out of danger. So of course, standing next to them, Edward's "take our word for it" perfection somehow becomes even less believable to the point where it's almost ridiculous whenever Bella pours on the praise.

* I still think Bella has depression. Granted, it's not NEARLY as bad as I thought when I read it (the anxiety dissorder I now chalk up as bad writing), but there is still something about her that seems to be crying for help. This was far the most disturbing when at the end of the book she's begging Edward to turn her into a vampire because she's sees herself as SO OOOOOLD and is so obsessed over her trauma that she's willing to so far as to abandon her family, friends, and way of life just to be rid of it. Really, the girl at the very least needs counseling. Her parents are both basket cases, with an flighty, childish, borderline neglectful mother, a father who can't decide whether he wants to be her protector or her pimp, and fresh out of being blackmailed, dragged across the Pacific Coast, isolated, and then manipulated into thinking her family was in danger before being locked in a warehouse and promptly getting the crap beaten out of her for snorts and giggles. This girl needs bedrest and to talk to someone, NOT to be put on a walking cast and go to a prom that she didn't even want to go to in the first place. Jesus Christ.

*I am going to have a harder time dong this project than I thought. ;_____;

Wow, I'm going to be busy next week!...yaaaaay

-PL

I JUST BOUGHT A COPY OF TWILIGHT.

...

NO SERIOUSLY.

...

ON MY OWN FREE WILL.

Okay, um, a better explanation. I have to do a fancy-pants college image project, so I figured it would be the best to do the Shakesperian/Classic Literature version of Twilight (since Bella doesn't seem to grasp the fact that her relationship with sparkleass really isn't at all like Wuthering Heights and Romeo and Juliet and such.) So I figured it's not right to pull it without reading the story in full before hand, and they didn't have a copy in the library, and push came to shove...

...but in my defense! I actually kind of find the whole thing hilarious, because I can't help but read Bella as having some sort of depression or anxiety dissorder. She tries her best to avoid any sort of social intereaction out of fear, she has absolutly zero self image even though her detracting description of herself is attractive, she is stressed to tears at any sort of change in the environment, she's prone to VERY violent mood swings, she's utterly unattatched from everyone in contact with, even her own parents, damn, I mean these symptoms are just screaming at me. And Edward CLEARLY is a forthing lunatic himself, so vampirism in this book is clearly an elaborate metaphor for psychological instability and insanity, and is a stark social criticism of how pressure to be a part of a perfect relationship drives people to sell themselves short or get caught up in a twisted and abusive relationship that gets them turned into cold-skinned, sparkly bloodsuckers. YES. This is what we English Majors tell ourselves to survive.

God, ripping on Twilight. That is so first half of 2009. HEY ANY OF YOU WANT THIS THING WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT?

IN OTHER NEWS only two weeks into school, and I'm already getting seriously tired! It's amazing how one class four days in a row can really exhaust you (didn't I do that for twelve years, like, two years ago?!). But other than that, the transition back is going pretty smoothly. I don't think see much potential for EPIC FAIL in any subjects yet. How about you guys? Has school started out pretty easily for you?

I swear I will draw something. I swear it. GET IT TOGETHER MAN.

Thank you all, and chin up!
:herat: PL